At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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