I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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