It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
from now on my penis is your penis
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize