so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
