whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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