I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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