Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
