just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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