y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
