hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
