Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize