my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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