please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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