He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
