it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
