So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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