i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
