Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize