There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
