Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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