he wants to bone in the snuggie
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
