Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
