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• (305): View more from Florida

  Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  Too much penis in there.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving

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• (941): View more from Florida

  I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti

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• (714): View more from California

  Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...

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