It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
