shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
