I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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