At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
