So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
