oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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