And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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