hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Damn victory sex feels great
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
