She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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