he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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