"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
