is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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