I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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