she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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