So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
