Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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