Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
