every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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