____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
