I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
