Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize