Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.

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(719): View more from Colorado

new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge

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(571): View more from Virginia

Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober

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(703): View more from Virginia

he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety

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(760): View more from California

I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

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(907): View more from Alaska

Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea

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(208): View more from Idaho

As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.

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(404): View more from Georgia

My vagina! What have you done to it?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Blessed it my child.

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