C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
