Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
