She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
