I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
