please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize