Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
