Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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