the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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