he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
