so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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