I hate your face
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
