You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
