I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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